Starsux Coffee

OK- so I’m on my morning commute from N Raleigh to Cary, NC, the epitome of land of Volvos and khakis, nothing too much out of the ordinary…the standard retard commuter pulls out in front of me and stops in the middle of Glenwood Ave’s flooding rage of traffic, and waves “sorry”. As if that wave is going to cease the frenzy of rolling metal heading straight to the driver’s-side door. Idiots.

Anyways, back to my main rant, so I’m cruising into yuppieville and Jennifer’s passing out on me. Not that she ALWAYS passes out on my in car rides, but I’m sure the Rusted Root concert last night didn’t help either , as I was struggling too. So I’m like, “let’s get some coffee..” and with a gasping relief head-nod yes we pull into Starbucks.

I ease up in to coffee stage 1. Ordering, Jennifer’s raving about the luscious tasting sweet java that she’s about to consume, I speak her coffee-sex “a grande americano with room (splash of moo- which I forgot)” and onto my oldie but goodie “venti soy almond latte”.

At this point, this is where the world seemed to pause, as I received back from the amped up coffee dude through the comm box “sorry, we don’t carry almond anymore”!!!! How on earth do you NOT have almond anymore?! That’s like no ketchup for fries!

So I’m completely confused, I have no alternative thoughts, I have no actions, hell I couldn’t even speak at this point, i wanted to cry =(.

So, the guy rattles off some other alternative, I’m not even paying attention. So we roll up to stage 2. Pay and Receive. We get our bounty and roll out… both still in shock of the almondless establishment. I look down to see what I had actually ordered…”Venti Hazelnut Soy No Whip Mocha”. What in God’s name is that going to taste like?! (not too shabby, but alas no almond).

So, we get to the get to the office finally, barely escaping the narrow access road oncoming traffic and random goose crossing… and we both rant to the staff, only to find out from our Starbucks Soy Almond Latte professional, Jen Brown, that the almondless Starbucks flavor is yesterday’s news.

So to the CEO of Starbucks, please bring back the almond, it never did any harm to anyone. It is well demanded here in corporate America and you suck greatly for taking away my drink. End rant.